Operation Back to Viking times

by J thomasonand Copilot

the modern land of ice

[Scene: A secret underground lab beneath Greenland’s melting surface. Humanoid scientists bustle about in lab coats made of recycled water bottles. The air smells faintly of ozone and ambition.]

Dr. Vasant (frantic):
“Activate the Non Fraturized Steam Flozener! We’ve got 30 cylinders, 1.5 megabytes of thermal enthusiasm, and no clue what any of that means!”

Engineer Calvin (adjusting goggles):
“I told you we should’ve brought more megabytes. It’s like trying to boil the ocean with a toaster.”

Dr. Vasant:
“Silence, Calvin! Einstein gave us E=mc², not E=excuses². Let’s phaser this iceberg like it insulted our motherboards.”

[Suddenly, the lights flicker. One of the aluminium flotation units lifts into the air like it believes in itself.]

Intern Jodie:
“Uh, I think one of the steel cylinders is trying to escape.”

Engineer Calvin:
“Perfect. That’s our test pilot. If Greenland turns lush again, we’ll name the first tree after it.”

Dr. Vasant (dramatically):
“In the Viking Age, Greenland was green! Our mission: reverse centuries of icy indifference. Bring back the flanks, the grass, the Viking yoga retreats!”

Intern Jodie:
“Pretty sure Vikings did raiding, not reclining pigeon pose…”

[Cut to: The sea begins to steam. Ice melts. Penguins watch from afar, suspicious but intrigued.]

Engineer Calvin (laughing maniacally):
“Ha! At three degrees Celsius, the sea water will chase the equator like it's late for brunch.”

Dr. Vasant:
“Let the warm solar currents flow! Let the carbon dioxide be devoured by carbs! Let Greenland be the salad bar of the solar system!”

Intern Jodie:
“Did anyone tell the planet we're doing this? We probably need a permit or something...”

[Final Scene: Greenland blooms. Trees dance. Dolphins surf down waterfalls made of former glaciers. The world is weirdly better.]

Dr. Vasant:
“This is the dawn of a new era. Powered by science, satire, and a dangerously ambiguous understanding of thermodynamics!”

Engineer Calvin:
“And if this doesn’t work… we’re relocating to Mars. Heard the ice caps there are easier to negotiate.”

If you want to keep going, we can make this a series! Arctic redemption, aquatic villainy, or perhaps a romantic subplot between an eco-activist and a misunderstood iceberg? 🧊💘 Let me know!