A romantic comedy in three acts with music, vinegar, and emotional carbohydrates. Setting: Salford, England Length: Approx. 1,500 words Characters:
Amira – quick-witted, sarcastic, and emotionally guarded
Jack – affable, slightly awkward, and charmingly persistent
Nana Mo – Amira’s cheeky grandmother with opinions and snacks
Ezra – Jack’s best mate, local DJ, lives for gossip
ACT I: Batter Flirtations
Scene: A small chip shop near Salford Quays. Rain taps on the windows. The smell of fried heaven hangs in the air. Amira stands at the counter; Jack behind her in line.
JACK: Excuse me—did you just order the last of the custard creams and the chips?
AMIRA: I live dangerously. Snacks and saturated fat are my love languages.
JACK: (grinning) You might’ve stolen my order and my heart, but I’m willing to negotiate.
AMIRA: That’s bold for a man with vinegar on his cuff.
JACK: (looks down, horrified) Oh no! Battle scar from the chip trenches.
(The chip shop owner hands Amira her order. She turns to leave, pauses.)
AMIRA: Tell you what—buy me a pickled egg and I won’t report this as theft.
JACK: Deal. But I get your number as emotional compensation.
Musical Snippet: ? “She’s got salt on her fingers, vinegar on my pride / Met her by the fryer, now I’m tongue-tied…”
? ACT II: Parked Hearts
Scene: A picnic setup in Buile Hill Park. Jack arrives, holding a basket—inside: chips, pickled eggs, and orange Lucozade. Amira’s waiting with Nana Mo, who’s pretending not to eavesdrop.
NANA MO: (to Amira) If he’s daft enough to bring pickled eggs, marry him before his brain clears.
JACK: I brought what the woman demanded. Eggs, chips, emotional vulnerability.
AMIRA: Also known as lunch with layers.
(They sit. Conversation flows. The sky’s moody, but they’re all smiles.)
JACK: You always this hard to impress?
AMIRA: Only when I’m interested. Sorry.
JACK: (genuinely surprised) You’re interested?
AMIRA: You brought snacks. It’s possible.
(They laugh. Jack pulls out an old photo booth strip.)
JACK: My parents met in a chip shop too. Swapped phone numbers over mushy peas.
AMIRA: Romance really does start in sodium.
Musical Snippet: ? “Toast too burnt, rom-coms too sappy / But somehow you make being weird look happy…”
? ACT III: Wedding Crashers (Sort Of)
Scene: A wedding party. Amira and Jack sneak in, claiming to be "lost guests." Ezra DJs in sequins. Nana Mo is dancing with the bride’s uncle. Amira wears a fake onion ring as a wedding band.
EZRA: (approaching Jack) This your mystery girl? She just did the electric slide with a stranger named Derek.
JACK: She’s unpredictable. It’s half the appeal.
AMIRA: We told someone we’re engaged. They gave us free prosecco.
JACK: This is escalating. Should I call your mum?
AMIRA: She’d want a full spread and matching outfits. Stick to chips and false promises.
(They dance. Laugh. Step outside into the humid night, shoes in hand.)
JACK: Do you think this could be something?
AMIRA: You mean beyond snacks and fake nuptials?
JACK: Yeah. You, me. Real dates. Real pickled eggs.
AMIRA: (softly) Then yes. But next time, I want ketchup.
(They kiss. It’s clumsy, perfect. Nana Mo applauds from afar.)
Final Musical Snippet: ? “Fake ring, real kiss, champagne on my chin / Love doesn’t ask for RSVP to begin…”
[CURTAIN.]
No comments:
Post a Comment